Monday, October 27, 2008

Dream

Last night I dreamed that I was running for Student Council President. I'm not sure what school I was dream-attending, but it was very important and I needed to choose a running mate. So, I chose Sarah Palin, and she accepted. This choice because I like Sarah Palin (although VP of Student Council is probably a more appropriate role for her than VP of America), but because it would enlighten everyone as to what a hypocrite she is.

In the dream, the thinking went like this: If Sarah Palin is my running mate, she will have to espouse and support my progressive and liberal values. But since, she's also John McCain's running mate, she's going to have to keep agreeing with him, too. Since she'll be arguing out of both sides of her mouth, the American public will get wise to her and vote against her. I was totally willing to sacrifice being Student Council President if it meant bringing Sarah Palin down, and ensuring she lost BOTH her VP bids.

Um, this election may prove to be the end of any semblance of sanity I once had. Only time will tell. And by time, I mean 8 days.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

On Broadway

Last week, I found myself driving down Broadway Avenue in North Minneapolis. Now, unlike Chicago, Seattle, and many other cities where the northern areas are fancy schmancy and gentrified, in Minneapolis it's the opposite- most of south Minneapolis is the "better" part. South Minneapolis is where I and pretty much everyone I know grew up.

I realized as I drove down Broadway Avenue, that in the 23 years (3 years in LA and 1 year abroad, adds up to 27 total) I have lived in Minneapolis, I have never actually driven all the way down this thoroughfare of the north side. It's like a different city/country/planet. As I drove, I was dumbfounded that the Chain of Lakes Harriet, Calhoun, and Isles were merely 5 miles away. Discount furniture places with sloppily hand-painted signs on splintering wood. Half the buildings on nearly every street abandoned and boarded up. Four young guys on a street corner, all in wheel chairs (is it overly presumptuous to assume they had all been paralyzed in gun-related incidents?). And weirdest of all, a boarded-up gas station with the sign posting Unleaded for $1.00.

I tried to take a picture of the sign, but the light turned green and I missed it. Somehow I imagine that if I go back soon, the sign will not have changed. I mean, the last time gas was $1.00 even was in about 1998. So, clearly, this gas station has been closed for around 10 years--why is it just standing there like that? How is there a part of Minneapolis, supposed liberal bastion of progressive values and egalitarianism, that has been so ignored. Ignored by the City Council; ignored by the mayor; ignored by the news; ignored by me.

Maybe borne of my upper-middle class liberal guilt over not realizing just how impoverished and abandoned this part of my city is, I have a new found interest in North Minneapolis--in its history. It can't have always been like this, right? I mean, it's an older part of the city, close to downtown, so there must have been a time when it was lovely and bustling and thriving. I am going to do some sleuthing and learn some more about the other side of my beloved city.

This increased awareness of North Minneapolis also made me wish I was still in college, so I would be motivated to do real research on the city; and maybe create a photojounalistic essay or anthropological analysis. As it is, probably I will just google "history of North Minneapolis." But, I am definitely going to go back at get a picture of the gas station.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Bummer

It is the perfect day for a Vikings game- gray, chilly, raining off and on. Yet, they don't play until tomorrow night. Bummer.

The game is against New Orleans- perhaps the outcome will be a predictor of which metropolitan area my wife will end up choosing? Of course, I'm totally impartial.

Also, Johan has a cold. Bummer.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

On Defense

I can be defensive. It's not something I like about myself and it's something that I think about a lot. I think it's related to my deep-seeded need to have the approval of people in my life. I remember in elementary school at a goal-setting conference, my teacher asked me if the approval of my teacher, my parents, or myself was most important. I couldn't choose. I told her that I needed the approval of my teacher, my parents, and myself.

So, right, you're saying, who doesn't like praise and approval?

It's not that I think I or the things I do are perfect. I could write a list of hundreds of mistakes I've made in both my personal and professional life. (That's a blog for another day, though.) I am fairly self-reflective and think I am at least somewhat aware of my strengths and weaknesses. It's more that I worry that critique is criticism. But, I am growing and working very hard to see that critique is an opportunity to learn.

Today I was in an intense meeting with BJ and a couple of clients who had some buyer's remorse about the conclusion of their case. There had been numerous phone calls leading up to this meeting, including the clients accusing me of being racist against Latino people and of lying to them. Since racism and lying are, like, two of my least favorite things, I understandably felt offended by these accusations. As you can imagine, I didn't go in to today's meeting particularly at ease.

BJ took the lead in the meeting today, and I felt like it was a great learning experience. He had an artful way of being matter-of-fact about the work our law firm did and why the results were fair and right, yet he was not defensive. He was clearly in control of the interaction, yet he acknowledged the client concerns and conceded points that were not really important, but allowed the client to feel that he was "winning" on some of the disagreements. More than once, he noted his years of experience but that he was never too experienced to learn something new and make changes for the better.

After the meeting, BJ and I were talking and he pointed out that in many Asian cultures, apologies flow much easier than in the western world. In the law business of course, there's a fine line between apologizing for a misunderstanding and saying you screwed up. (FYI, we did not screw up.) I think the thing that was hard for me was that I didn't even really see this as a misunderstanding but rather, that these clients were trying to pull a fast one by accusing me of untrue things. The problem, of course, is that I was getting nowhere by refusing to acknowledge any error or misunderstanding from my end.

Today BJ took the lead, and by finding the perfect balance of assertiveness without defensiveness, and a willingness to acknowledge that there is always room to learn and grow, the clients signed the papers and at the end, we all shook hands.

This is a successful resolution on many levels. The case is finally resolved and the necessary papers are signed. More importantly, I think the clients feel at least somewhat satisfied with the resolution. Most importantly, I think I gained some important insight about how a person can stand their ground without being defensive, and how a person can acknowledge imperfection without admitting error.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Ring a ding

Yesterday my mom called my cell phone and it went straight to voicemail. Obviously this means the phone is turned off, right? But my mom thought it meant I was on another call. Huh? Anyway, this got me thinking about how phones have changed, and that Johan probably will never know what a busy signal sounds like. At our house, we don't even have a land line, and I can't think of anyone I know who is under 30 and has a land line. Is the busy signal going to be the Olde Timey Saloon Piano of Johan's generation?

On a related note...

Dear Client(s): If somehow you manage to get a hold of the number to my cell phone, despite my best efforts to keep that number top secret and away from any and all of my clients, please do not actually expect me to answer when you call me at 10pm on Friday night to ask me how you should get your prescription when you showed up at Walgreens after the pharmacy closed for the night. Thanks.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Ramire

Cell phone ring.

Me: Hello?

Ramire: Hi, Kristina, it's me, Ramire.

Me: Hi honey how are you? How's school?

Ramire: Good, I got 100 on my first spelling test. I can spell sequence, sequins, and emphysema. (proceeded to spell each of these words correctly.)

Me: Wow, that's amazing. Good work, Ramire.

Ramire: Yeah, I'm going to study really hard and do well in school. I'm gonna get rich, but not to have money, so I can give it to others who need it. Because I can earn money really fast if I study a lot.

Me: Yes, yes you can. And it's really nice you want to share it with others.

Ramire: Yeah, wanna come see me do gymnastics sometime?

Me: For sure.

Ramire: Love you.

Me: Love you too.


*Sigh. I love this little boy (who is now in 3rd grade, and not so very little anymore, but continues to have such a good heart.)

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Sunday News

A few things of note:

1) We applied for Johan's passport on September 3. It was issued on September 9, and arrived September 11. Uhhh, seems like an unprecedented show of efficiency from the federal government, no? I thought it was like 8-12 weeks wait to get a passport. So, FYI, if you need a passport, don't get tricked into paying the expediency fee -- as long as you have 8 business days, it should work out. What's also funny is that Johan's passport is valid until 2013. That means he will be able to travel on this passport when he's in kindergarten, with a picture from when he was 9 months old.

2) Yesterday Evelyn took care of Johan while I got my hair cut. When I was done, Johan was sleeping, so Ev said she'd bring him home when he woke up. She did. When she dropped him off, rather than acting like a normal baby and being happy and excited to see his mama, he cried when Ev left. He marches/crawls to his own drum, no doubt. It makes me happy that he feels so attached to her, because I know it means he's getting lots of attention and love when I'm not around. It's, of course, quite interesting how relationships morph over the years- Johan is probably more attached to Ev than to any adult besides Eduardo and me (and as evidenced by yesterday, sometimes more so) while Ev and I had a very tumultuous relationship when I was a kid.

3) Tina Fey does an awesome Sarah Palin. Better than Sarah Palin does Sarah Palin. SNL is back just in time.