Eduardo still isn't home. He comes back from the Dominican Republic on Tuesday. It's been fine mostly and I like knowing that I would make it on my own, if I needed to (albeit with lots of help from my family).
But the past week has been hard. I had a stressful week at work and Johan has been sick. I miss Eduardo's presence at home; I miss him counterbalancing my neurotic worrying and stewing with calm reassurance when I've had a bad day at work; and I miss having someone to help me and give me a break when Johan is fussy and doesn't feel well.
Just 3 more days.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
The Latest Craze
Actually, I'm pretty sure the craze is over for most, as this isn't a new thing, but I have just recently discovered Eat This, Not That. There's a book, a website, and weekly e-mails. I am always striving to choose healthy foods, but am not so interested in a diet composed of only raw vegetables and boiled chicken. Part of the problem in my quest to choose healthy is my love for creamy delicious things. Cheese, cottage cheese, ice cream etc.
Here's why I like the Eat This, Not That: it doesn't tell you to quit eating butter and replace it with a carrot. It tells you to replace it with whipped butter. Surely, we all now know the dangers of margarine and its secret transfats. And, while, I love butter on my toast, I'd like to not eat that much saturated fat (read: I'd like to save some of the saturated fat I'm bound to consume for times in the day.) Whipped butter is brilliant- it doesn't have any added or extra ingredients. It just has air whipped into it to give it fewer calories and less fat per teaspoon. Brilliant. Edy's slow churned ice cream follows the same concept- air whipped into the ice cream to reduce fat without reducing flava.
Now, if there was only an Eat This, Not That answer for taquitos...
Here's why I like the Eat This, Not That: it doesn't tell you to quit eating butter and replace it with a carrot. It tells you to replace it with whipped butter. Surely, we all now know the dangers of margarine and its secret transfats. And, while, I love butter on my toast, I'd like to not eat that much saturated fat (read: I'd like to save some of the saturated fat I'm bound to consume for times in the day.) Whipped butter is brilliant- it doesn't have any added or extra ingredients. It just has air whipped into it to give it fewer calories and less fat per teaspoon. Brilliant. Edy's slow churned ice cream follows the same concept- air whipped into the ice cream to reduce fat without reducing flava.
Now, if there was only an Eat This, Not That answer for taquitos...
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
New Post; New World
I don't have any words or poetry that can compare with the words and images that encompassed this day of days. THIS DAY. So, I won't try. But, I want to say 2 things about it:
1) I love today for Johan. By the time he is in pre-school, he will know who the President is. And celebrate. And support. And will study history of Selma Alabama and it will not be his reality.
2) I love today for myself. Apart from being J's mom, I am ME. I am a person who has spent countless hours in campaign against GWB and all that he stands for. Today is the ultimate victory. I think about my dear friends from Occidental (most especially Michelle and Tucker) and all of our political battles: against Bush; against homophobia; against racism; against injustice. So much disappointment in our campaigns and struggles. Tonight makes up for all of it. It really does. And makes it all worth it, too.
1) I love today for Johan. By the time he is in pre-school, he will know who the President is. And celebrate. And support. And will study history of Selma Alabama and it will not be his reality.
2) I love today for myself. Apart from being J's mom, I am ME. I am a person who has spent countless hours in campaign against GWB and all that he stands for. Today is the ultimate victory. I think about my dear friends from Occidental (most especially Michelle and Tucker) and all of our political battles: against Bush; against homophobia; against racism; against injustice. So much disappointment in our campaigns and struggles. Tonight makes up for all of it. It really does. And makes it all worth it, too.
Monday, January 19, 2009
This Land is Your Land (and Johan's Land)
Can't have my last post before tomorrow's BIG inauguration be angry, so here's something from yesterday that was wonderful. Johan and I enjoyed the We Are One concert from the comfort of the basement. We danced the whole time. This was one of Johan's favorites (it's always been one of mine).
Ever appropriate for MLK Day and the wonder, hope and joy that will be tomorrow. Tonight we go to sleep full of anticipation and celebration.
Check it out.
Ever appropriate for MLK Day and the wonder, hope and joy that will be tomorrow. Tonight we go to sleep full of anticipation and celebration.
Check it out.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Chicken with a Side of Bigot
I normally try to intersperse witty commentary, Johan updates, and other miscellaneous musings between my rants, but this simply couldn't wait.
Johan and I are just back from a family dinner (mom's side)that I find outrageous to describe. There were 2 distinct happenings that filled me with rage.
First, during dinner, Johan was really digging the rice dish. He was on his second helping when my grandma goes "Before you know it you're going to be slant-eyed." After nearly choking on my red wine, I said "Well, that's pretty racist. We're planning to raise Johan to not make stereotypical and insulting comments about people of other ethnicities." My grandma ignored me and changed the subject. No one else said anything about it. I feel pretty strongly about not just "letting it slide," especially in front of Johan. I want him to be a person who has the courage to speak out against injustice, and the only way to do that is by example. If I just ignore comments like that, he will learn to do the same, and silence and passivity in the face of racism are not acceptable to me.
Second, when we were getting ready to leave, my mom says "Johan, are you going to give grandpa a kiss?" Johan shook his head no, and my step dad says "Yeah, he's not gay." This situation is even more disturbing to me than the slant-eye remark for a couple reasons. First, I expect more from my step dad as he is not senile and he ought to know better. Second, the remark is not only homophobic, it also seeks to force Johan into a gender-stereotype that boys are not or should not be affectionate. Essentially, it spits directly in the eye of 2 values I am trying to instill in Johan: 1) that homophobia is not acceptable and 2) that it is good and right for boys and men to be emotionally aware and affectionate. I immediately said to Johan that we love all types of people, gay or otherwise, and that it is ok for family to kiss each other, if they want, regardless if they are girls or boys.
So, we are home now and listening to some "Free to Be You and Me" and have read "Whoever You Are, Where ever You Are." A quick effort to undo the nasty words that fell upon his ears tonight.
On a deeper level than my initial revulsion to these 2 comments, I am angry because I should be able to go to a family dinner and not have my 1-year-old exposed to hate speech. There are enough forces in this world that will aim to instill contrary values in Johan that I do not control- I can't keep him from TV and internet and idiots out in the big wide world. On top of all those things, I don't need people in my own family carelessly and stupidly counteracting the values Eduardo and I want to instill in Johan.
And, I don't think I'm overreacting to respond immediately when it happens. Just changing the subject is not an option-- I want Johan to know that he has a right and duty to make any efforts he can to fight bigotry. So, you've had fair warning. Make bigoted comments in front of my child, and you're going to get an earful from me, even if it means ruining dinner.
Any suggestions for how best to deal with situations like these?
PS. It should also be noted that one of Eduardo's brothers used the word "maricon" (Spanish for faggot) in front of Johan while we were in the DR, and I also ackwardly called him out on that.
Johan and I are just back from a family dinner (mom's side)that I find outrageous to describe. There were 2 distinct happenings that filled me with rage.
First, during dinner, Johan was really digging the rice dish. He was on his second helping when my grandma goes "Before you know it you're going to be slant-eyed." After nearly choking on my red wine, I said "Well, that's pretty racist. We're planning to raise Johan to not make stereotypical and insulting comments about people of other ethnicities." My grandma ignored me and changed the subject. No one else said anything about it. I feel pretty strongly about not just "letting it slide," especially in front of Johan. I want him to be a person who has the courage to speak out against injustice, and the only way to do that is by example. If I just ignore comments like that, he will learn to do the same, and silence and passivity in the face of racism are not acceptable to me.
Second, when we were getting ready to leave, my mom says "Johan, are you going to give grandpa a kiss?" Johan shook his head no, and my step dad says "Yeah, he's not gay." This situation is even more disturbing to me than the slant-eye remark for a couple reasons. First, I expect more from my step dad as he is not senile and he ought to know better. Second, the remark is not only homophobic, it also seeks to force Johan into a gender-stereotype that boys are not or should not be affectionate. Essentially, it spits directly in the eye of 2 values I am trying to instill in Johan: 1) that homophobia is not acceptable and 2) that it is good and right for boys and men to be emotionally aware and affectionate. I immediately said to Johan that we love all types of people, gay or otherwise, and that it is ok for family to kiss each other, if they want, regardless if they are girls or boys.
So, we are home now and listening to some "Free to Be You and Me" and have read "Whoever You Are, Where ever You Are." A quick effort to undo the nasty words that fell upon his ears tonight.
On a deeper level than my initial revulsion to these 2 comments, I am angry because I should be able to go to a family dinner and not have my 1-year-old exposed to hate speech. There are enough forces in this world that will aim to instill contrary values in Johan that I do not control- I can't keep him from TV and internet and idiots out in the big wide world. On top of all those things, I don't need people in my own family carelessly and stupidly counteracting the values Eduardo and I want to instill in Johan.
And, I don't think I'm overreacting to respond immediately when it happens. Just changing the subject is not an option-- I want Johan to know that he has a right and duty to make any efforts he can to fight bigotry. So, you've had fair warning. Make bigoted comments in front of my child, and you're going to get an earful from me, even if it means ruining dinner.
Any suggestions for how best to deal with situations like these?
PS. It should also be noted that one of Eduardo's brothers used the word "maricon" (Spanish for faggot) in front of Johan while we were in the DR, and I also ackwardly called him out on that.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Some Saturday Morning Bitching
Here are a few unrelated tidbits that have irritated me this week.
- If you go to Target and buy the very cheapest remote control possible, is it unreasonable to think that it will take AA batteries? Cheap people do not keep AAA batteries around the house. It took a whole other trip to Target to get AAA batteries to program said cheap remote. At the very least, the box of the remote could have indicated that it required AAA batteries.
- My neighbor insists on shoveling her back stairs (approximately 6 feet from Johan's bedroom) with a loud metal shovel at 11pm. Thanks, neighbor. I'm about to call the noise police on you.
- Yesterday I had a mediation for a work comp case. I am normally a big fan of mediation in civil cases, but this was my first in work comp. The work comp bar is a very small group of attorneys and we all have a very cordial relationship with each other. Opposing counsel on this particular case is a really nice woman and we have settled numerous cases with one another, very amicably. I get to the mediation, and immediately realize that the mediator is a total bitch. She clearly thinks all injured people are liars and fakers and completely discounts every argument we have and every strong fact about our case. Despite her lack of neutrality, we managed to get within a few thousand dollars of each other. I had to leave at 12:30 for another hearing, and the mediator basically threatened me to take the offer or else: "You know, this offer is not going to stay on the table. You don't settle today and you may be hard pressed to settle later." It was all I could do to avoid punching her mullet. I just nodded and said, "Well, I have worked with ____ _____ before, and I'm sure we'll be able to find some common ground." By the time I got back to my office, the opposing counsel had e-mailed me suggesting that we split the difference between my last demand and her last offer. Go figure. And, go to hell, stupid mediator.
That's all for now. Thanks for listening.
- If you go to Target and buy the very cheapest remote control possible, is it unreasonable to think that it will take AA batteries? Cheap people do not keep AAA batteries around the house. It took a whole other trip to Target to get AAA batteries to program said cheap remote. At the very least, the box of the remote could have indicated that it required AAA batteries.
- My neighbor insists on shoveling her back stairs (approximately 6 feet from Johan's bedroom) with a loud metal shovel at 11pm. Thanks, neighbor. I'm about to call the noise police on you.
- Yesterday I had a mediation for a work comp case. I am normally a big fan of mediation in civil cases, but this was my first in work comp. The work comp bar is a very small group of attorneys and we all have a very cordial relationship with each other. Opposing counsel on this particular case is a really nice woman and we have settled numerous cases with one another, very amicably. I get to the mediation, and immediately realize that the mediator is a total bitch. She clearly thinks all injured people are liars and fakers and completely discounts every argument we have and every strong fact about our case. Despite her lack of neutrality, we managed to get within a few thousand dollars of each other. I had to leave at 12:30 for another hearing, and the mediator basically threatened me to take the offer or else: "You know, this offer is not going to stay on the table. You don't settle today and you may be hard pressed to settle later." It was all I could do to avoid punching her mullet. I just nodded and said, "Well, I have worked with ____ _____ before, and I'm sure we'll be able to find some common ground." By the time I got back to my office, the opposing counsel had e-mailed me suggesting that we split the difference between my last demand and her last offer. Go figure. And, go to hell, stupid mediator.
That's all for now. Thanks for listening.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Cold
It's cold. Yes, everyone knows it. It's Minnesota in January; what do you expect? Midwesterners love to talk about the weather in its glory and its...guts? You know, when it's cold out, just like guts? Anyhoo, yes, we talk about the weather. But, aside from Chicago, cities in the Midwest are car cities. Everyone drives. Very few people are outside waiting for trains or buses. So, while today was like -20 or something (to tell you the truth, I haven't really been following the actual temperatures), I spent a grand total of probably 10 minutes outside the entire day. And, at least 5 of those minutes were walking to and from a bar...so, not really required outdoor time. The point is, what's the big deal? It's just a few days of really cold days--you warm your car up for a few minutes more before driving; you turn the thermostat up a couple degrees; you eat soup for dinner. By Monday it will be above freezing, they say. And the beat goes on.
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