The Politics of Parenting?

Today we were officially accepted to the stem cell donor program for when Pavo is born. I am very excited about this for a few reasons. First, sticking it in the Current Occupant's eye is one of my favorite pastimes. Second, several of Pavo's great-grandparents have died from diseases that could potentially be treated or cured with stem cells in the future. Third, and most importantly, there seems to me no greater way to start one's little life than by giving back to the world community.

All this has got me thinking about the political significance of being a parent. Of raising a socially conscious child who is empathetic and caring and kind and unafraid to stand up for what's right. Of guiding that child to become an adult who is giving and committed to improving his community and world. Someone who understands that one's life should be spent working to make the world better in real ways, however he should choose to do that. Of raising a boy who becomes a man that respects women; who is in touch with his emotions and unafraid to talk about feelings. These are, of course, daunting challenges in a society that generally devalues these principles but I am excited about facing them.

When I first got pregnant, I giggled to myself about how this child could be my one small contribution to counteract those children who are being raised in the Bible Belt to fear and to hate and who will likely eventually vote for candidates who support curtailing individual rights and civil liberties. My child's vote in 18+ years will cancel out one of those votes.

Maybe I am thinking too much and too deep about the day-to-day of parenting. I'm sure some people would laugh at these ideas and ideals as unrealistic in the face of sleepless nights, endless diapering, and constant feedings. So, probably the political campaign will start out slowly and we will aim to master the sucking reflex before becoming a true revolutionary, but the stem cells are a good start.

Baby Bath

I have a wicked cold. I blame it on the flu shot they (the medical profession) made me get last week. My usual Rx of copious amounts of Nyquil and Dayquil is off limits to me, so I have been turning to alternative remedies like Vicks Vaporub and now, Johnson & Johnson's Soothing Vapor Bath. It may be an addiction to menthol, but there are worse things in the world. I just noticed that the label of the Vapor Bath says "Comforts Babies with Colds."

I just know my wife would have a lot to say about that.

License to Ill

I was admitted to practice law today in Minnesota. After that, I went with my family to W.A. Frost for a delicious lunch. Then I laid on my left side for awhile. Now we are going to my boss' house for a bonfire and what's sure to be great food. It's been a busy day, so I have not had time to actually practice law yet. Even though I could. And I can. Whenever I want. Wherever I want (within Minnesota). Boo-ya.

Innocent Until Proven Innocent 20 years later

I am really happy that this is on the homepage of cnn.com right now.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/law/10/25/innocence.project/index.html

Now I'll be waiting for one on felon disenfranchisement. I hope the guy in this story is really excited to vote in '08, and that he will move to Florida in order to cast that vote.

The Monday Report

When I first announced this pavo-in-the-roaster, I promised that this blog would not turn into a baby blog. For the most part, until the past few posts, I think I've done a pretty good job, but now I go to the doctor every Monday and my whole week is centered around how the appointment went and anticipating the next one. In short, yesterday's appointment was good. J. scored 8/8 on his first "test" (meaning he is in great condition) and my BP was slightly lower (meaning J. and I are responding well to the 40 hour work week and lounging on my left side.) So, may be able to avoid bouts of tears in the car, at least until next Monday. I feel calm and good.

In other news, here are some more things going on:

• On Friday, I will officially be admitted to practice law in Minnesota. It's an "official" session of the Minnesota Supreme Court. Very very.
• Yesterday was the National Day of Protest Against Police Brutality. I was preparing for a hearing most of the day, then went to the doctor, and then went out for Mexican food. I was not involved in the protest. My life has changed a lot.
• Some random Chinese girl asked me to be her friend on Facebook. It's my first SPAM friend invitation on Facebook. I looked at her profile and all of her other friends are in Sweden and Norway and have the last name Lund. I rejected her offer because that is creepy, for a number of reasons.

Crying in the Car

Crying in the car is a weird thing. It's something I've been doing pretty frequently recently. Pent up worry for myself and J. after a day of work where there isn't much time to be thinking about my own life is released once I am safe in the confines of my car. Cars feel like private places; a little box where no one can reach me. Where I can put on my music and cry until I feel better. The strange part, though, is that cars are really not very private. From a 4th Amendment standpoint, the SCOTUS has conclusively determined that one does not have the same expectation of privacy in a vehicle as one has in her own home. But my home is a bigger box-- and so crying in it is a totally different experience. There is a place to wander and a lot of distractions. Of course, distractions can be good. But, for a good, hard cry that is uninterrupted and can get the endorphins really flowing, the car is a perfect place.

It's not often that I see other people crying in their cars. And when I do, I sometimes want to make eye-contact and let the person know that someone feels sympathy for their pain. But, what I really do is quickly turn away and try to speed up a little so the person can have their privacy. Yesterday at a stop light on a freeway ramp, I was wiping tears away from my eyes and the driver in the car next to me noticed. Middle-aged guy. WASP. Middle-class. Probably not in touch with his emotions. It was clear that he was uncomfortable and he revved that engine to get away as fast as he could once the light turned green. Which made me laugh. Which is good for my blood pressure.

Restrictions

At my doctor appointment yesterday, my blood pressure was up a little- again. This is the reason I am restricted from exercise. Apparently, when BP goes up in pregnancy, exercise makes it worse, not better. Pretty strange phenomenon for the MD to say "hey, your blood pressure is a little high...quit working out and spend more time laying down!"

Because it was up again yesterday, I am now restricted to working only 40 hours a week. I saw a different doctor yesterday (mine was out of the office) and I think she was a bit of an alarmist because when I told her I was frustrated by my BP continuing to raise inexplicably, she at first just suggested extra rest, especially on my left side, and then, in an off-the-cuff sort of way, she said "bed rest." Which means no work. Or getting up. At all. Uhhh....what? No. Actually not an option, absent a true medical emergency. I feel fine and have none of the other red flags associated with high blood pressure in pregnancy (headaches, blurry vision, abnormal blood tests). So, after a brief breakdown in which I described having the bank foreclose on our house and bringing Pavo home to a cardboard box, the substitute MD backed off and suggested dropping from 50 hours a week to 40 hours a week. Ok, that's doable. I have a phone call placed to my main MD and am waiting for a call back so we can discuss how maybe she needs to make a note in my chart that alarmist doctors ought to tone it down a little when I'm on the table.

So, today I worked only from 8am-4pm. It was really weird, and I felt almost guilty leaving so early, even though I know it's the responsible decision, and it is totally ok with my boss. I feel lucky that I work for a place that is understanding and values me as a whole person, not just for the money I bring in. When I told my boss about my new restrictions, he said it's important to take are of myself, do whatever I need to do, and that I have a whole career ahead of me to worry about "making" enough hours. Small business life is a good life.

I am under strict orders to spend as much time with my feet up (and preferably laying on my left side) as possible. And alternating between Law and Order and the Simpsons. Ok, not the last part. Eduardo has been great and is cooking me food with no salt and giving me lots of head-rubs. My mom comes to my appointments with me so that I have someone to keep me grounded when my worry gets the best of me and I envision cardboard box homes.

It's unclear what will happen next. I'm at about 34 weeks and it's possible that, if my BP goes up much more or if I develop any other complications associated with it, they could possibly induce at week 37 or so? Or, I guess whenever they decide it's "time." In any case, even if Pavo was born this very night, chances are he would be just fine--34 weeks would be early, but not generally very problematic. Please cross fingers for after November 10th- it would be really lame to not be able to attend my own baby shower or to tell the hospital staff "Sorry, we can't take him home; the baby shower isn't until November 10th so we won't have a car seat until then..."

Bon Jovi 4ever

Last night I watched the first few minutes of Saturday Night Live before falling asleep. Jon Bon Jovi was the host. I started to think, it's really quite amazing that he is still famous. Not to discount his talent (who doesn't love Livin' On a Prayer?) but I remember being a little kid and knowing that Bon Jovi was cool because my older girl cousins had posters of the band in their rooms. They also had posters of Nelson (those 2 long haired blond boys) and Milli Vanilli (those 2 long haired black boys).
Not even the 80s radio stations still play Nelson or Milli Vanilli, but Bon Jovi's 80s hits are like classic anthems now, and not only that, the band continues to gets playtime on the radio (and on SNL) with their new music. What is it about Jon Bon Jovi that makes him continue to be successful rather than fall along the wayside of pop culture like Nelson? Did he cut his hair at just the right time? Is he really that much more talented? I currently tend to think of Bon Jovi as fitting in the same category as John Mellencamp or The Boss -- blue collar northeastern rock and roll; inspired by unions and factories; classic songs that I will always want to hear when they come on the radio. Even my mom likes Bon Jovi, and she's no fan of 80s music. He's come a long way from the days of long, ratty hair, and I think it's pretty impressive that he's way hotter now than he was back then.
Kudos, Bon Jovi... you've made it, I swear, woh-oh, livin' on a prayer.

On Being a Worrier

I don't generally think of myself as a worrier. I am able to leave work at work, and even when I am upset, my sleep is rarely disturbed. But somehow when the unknown, maybe scary thing has anything to do with anything medical, I become the world's biggest worrier. When my dad was having mysterious health issues a couple of years ago, I am almost embarrassed to say that I became functionally crippled-- I was so wrought with worry and fear that I couldn't do homework, my job, or pay attention to anything besides imagining the worst.

My dad, of course, is so wise about these things, and pointed out that worrying about the unknown is a huge waste of energy since "it" might turn out to be nothing; might as well save the worry for if and when you know there is a problem to worry about. While my worry about my dad turned out to be *almost* nothing, as do most worries about medical issues, any follow-ups or further testing doctors want to do make me a much less rational person than I normally consider myself to be.

At my doctor appointment yesterday, a couple of tests (regarding my health, not the baby's) came back slightly abnormal. As in, "just something to watch, nothing to worry about now." Um, sure, right. I am back to my worrying ways, and let me tell you that Web MD does nothing to help. Eduardo has kindly reassured me that everything will be fine, and pointed out all the women in this world that have babies every year who get little or no pre-natal care and come out alright. So, being a middle-class white woman living in one of the wealthier of these United States with some of the best doctors and pre-natal care in the world means that my chances of being* fine,* even if complications do arise, are better than the chances of most people in the world. This is a weird conundrum though- the better and more thorough the pre-natal care, the more likely a problem or potential problem is to "arise" since any, even slight abnormality will come to the doctor's attention. And make me worry.

One of my current and newly imposed "restrictions" is no more treadmilling until after Pavo is born. Not too many times in one's life where the M.D. recommends avoiding exercise. I'll try not to worry.

A Pass

I passed the bar exam. Of course, not really a "surprise" but also not a given. The past couple of days have been pretty nerve wracking as I waited for the results to arrive. When I opened the envelope, my whole body was shaking like L.A. in an earthquake. I haven't had such a physical reaction to a situation in a very long time. Even after reading "I am pleased to inform you..." my body continued to shake for a good 10 minutes as I told Eduardo the news and called my bosses, family and a few friends to share the news. After repeating it several times, I seem to have calmed down (mostly).

So, this feels great. Just call me Esquire.

Weathering the Weather

While I have had some acquaintances express doubt about symptoms/side effects of pregnancy (such as forgetfulness, absentmindedness, and the need to rest frequently) let me tell you in no uncertain terms that feeling hot all of the time is one of the big ones. I was so looking forward to October for the brisk days and chilly nights so that I could get through a day or night without becoming totally sweaty and disgusting.

But not this October. 80 degrees today. I did not sign up for this and I do not like it one bit. This is Minnesota, for chrissake!

Word of wisdom to all friends living in L.A. or other hot climates: When and if you do decide to get knocked up, make sure the last trimester is not during the summer. Also, try to stay my friend so you can come visit Minnesota in January. You will love it, I promise.

A Little Wednesday Afternoon Rage

Just in case there was any doubt left regarding whether the Current Occupant had any goodness in his soul, we now have our answer:

www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/10/03/bush.veto/index.html

This is the worst part:

"The public can see that we're playing more political 'gotcha' than we are at really solving problems," said Rep. Todd Akin, R-Missouri, who said the legislation contained "all of these little hidden gizmos, among other things that we're going to provide health care to the children of illegal immigrants." ...

Democrats denied the bill would provide coverage to illegal immigrants."

1) Todd Akin is a moron. "Children of illegal immigrants" are often U.S. citizens with the same rights to be elected to the House of Representatives and make asinine comments on the House floor as he is. Even the ones that are here illegally did not choose to enter this country, and guess what, genius? Kids that have crossed the border illegally still get sick. While Akin may tell his constituents that the Rio Grande serves as a catch-all baptismal font to cleanse children of all childhood sickness, it just isn't true. They are still going to get ear infections and strep throat and the flu, and since they will be uninsured, guess what happens then, Mr. Akin? A trip to the Emergency Room. It will cost at least $500.00, probably more. And, do you think the family can pay for it? NO. Again, despite what Akin probably believes, wages are not that great for farm workers and the McDonalds kitchen staff. So, the buck is passed, and we all end up paying more for medical care to cover the costs.

2) Shame on you Democrats. In the face of such stupid and hateful remarks, it would have been a great opportunity to stand up and say: "No child should be uninsured, regardless of how they entered this country. Period."

3) "Hidden gizmos" doesn't mean anything. Missouri should be embarrassed. For a lot of reasons, but most especially today because they elected an idiot with no vocabulary to actually describe the underdeveloped and sophomoric thoughts he wishes to convey. Also, it must be noted that when spellchecking this entry, even blogger.com knows that "gizmos" is not a real word. I hereby endorse blogger.com to replace Todd Akin in the U.S. House of Representatives.

I Heart Con Law

I had a reminder last night of just what was so great about law school and why I will miss it. I watched an interview with Justice Thomas on 60 Minutes. It reminded me that the days are gone when it was a preferred use of my time to sit around drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes, and discussing the philosophies of Supreme Court Justices. Or dissecting one of Justice Thomas's less-than-stellar concurrences over pancakes. While I love talking politics, there is really not much I love more than a close read and discussion of an important SCOTUS opinion and trying to figure out why the Justices lined up like they did. Yeah, lame, I know. So you can see why I am feeling sad that law school is no more.

My job is great, but none of my clients know who Clarence Thomas is, let alone want to spend a couple of hours chatting about his hypocritical philosophy. To whom do I turn? Off hand, my dad is a lawyer who reads too many periodicals to count and my wife is a law student, so they seems like pretty good options to re-create the glory days of law school (minus the stress and final exams).

Interesting points about the Thomas interview. He has a booming, commanding voice that makes you want to listen closer -- too bad he never speaks in oral arguments. When asked about Anita Hill, he stuck by describing it as a high-tech lynching and then said that it paved the way for the witch hunt-like investigation into Bill Clinton's antics some years later. Huh. I guess they are similar in some ways, and I was impressed that Thomas, who usually prefers unfair characterizations of all Democrats and liberals, would make those connections and relate himself to Bill Clinton. Of course, the big difference is that Clinton came clean and admitted what he did, while Thomas stands by his denials. And that Bill Clinton is my hero, and Clarence Thomas is not.

Finally, while Thomas answered some questions evasively or with a "Oh, come on, that's silly" (I mean, if it's that silly, just answer the damn question and let's move on...), he was overall very well-spoken, articulate, and intelligent-sounding. I don't say that because I'm necessarily surprised by it, but it is just another reason I am so fascinated by the SCOTUS. Even the guy that is considered by many to be the dumbest, least-qualified guy on the High Court is eloquent and probably smarter than most people in the world. Except Bill Clinton. Nobody is smarter than him.

Please note that Clarence Thomas drives a motor home. I wonder if he won it on The Price is Right.