I realized at yoga class this morning that quite often my immediate reaction to receiving a compliment or positive feedback is to think of something self deprecating to counteract it.
After a VERY intensive and kick-ass 1.5 hours of yoga, the yoga instructor (whom I have not worked with before) said to me "you're so limber." The thought that popped into my head to respond was "thanks,but I make up for that by having the worst balance in the world." I was able to catch myself, and instead I just thanked her. I know there are other examples when I haven't caught myself, and rather than just accepting the compliment, I have pointed out a weakness that serves to undermine the compliment.
This is lame. Why do I do that? I am going to make a conscious effort to learn to graciously accept a compliment. This begins with learning to say thank you instead of making some dumb remark. Eventually it would be nice to train myself to not even let those self-criticizing thoughts into my head, but one step at a time.
Incidentally, my body is very sore after my limber tricks this morning.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Home (Part Two)
While I am excited about the previously described changes to our home, it isn't the case that I don't like our home. Just to be clear that there are many things I love about it, I thought I'd list some of them.
- We have hardwood floors and they creak sometimes.
- We have a yard for Johan to play in.
- We have a patio which is perfect for a cocktail on a summer evening.
- Our house faces south which means we get amazing sunlight.
- We can see the downtown Minneapolis skyline from our kitchen window.
- There is a door to the basement, which means we don't have baby gates in our house.
- We live in a safe neighborhood where we can go walking and playing and sitting in the yard without any more than common sense vigilance and safety precautions.
- We live in South Minneapolis, which is the best and only place to live in Minnesota.
There you have it.
- We have hardwood floors and they creak sometimes.
- We have a yard for Johan to play in.
- We have a patio which is perfect for a cocktail on a summer evening.
- Our house faces south which means we get amazing sunlight.
- We can see the downtown Minneapolis skyline from our kitchen window.
- There is a door to the basement, which means we don't have baby gates in our house.
- We live in a safe neighborhood where we can go walking and playing and sitting in the yard without any more than common sense vigilance and safety precautions.
- We live in South Minneapolis, which is the best and only place to live in Minnesota.
There you have it.
Home
We are not home improvement types. Eduardo watches quite a bit of HGTV and is pretty handy, but I am useless in that regard. Recently, I've been getting bored with our house/set up and have insisted on some changes.
First, I rearranged our very cozy living room/dining room space so that there is some definition between the 2 spaces. I bought a $99 carpet at Target that provides that definition and makes the living room part of the room much more inviting.
Second, we (Eduardo) painted our kitchen cabinets. They used to to be white and needed paint badly, so I talked to New Mexican Sarah who is a painting expert and got her input. We chose Benjamin Moore Tropicana Cabana- it's a bright but not too dark turquoise. So far just the top cabinets are done. They look great. Eduardo did a nice painting job and the color makes the kitchen brighter and more "fun." I think Eduardo also likes that we are adding some color to our house from the tropical palette. Dominicans don't really do earth tones.
Finally, yesterday we purchased a new dining set. The one we have is at least 30 years old. It's a quality table, but the style and stain do not match the rest of our stuff, and the captain's chair are overbearing and way too large for our space. This is what we bought.
We chose the counter height table because I read the higher tables tend to make small spaces look larger. The stain is beautiful in person, and the table closes down to quite narrow and opens up to a large square that seats 8-10.
Next step: replace crumbling front retaining wall. That's an expensive project but really needs to be done this summer. Suggestions for ways to do it on the cheap?
First, I rearranged our very cozy living room/dining room space so that there is some definition between the 2 spaces. I bought a $99 carpet at Target that provides that definition and makes the living room part of the room much more inviting.
Second, we (Eduardo) painted our kitchen cabinets. They used to to be white and needed paint badly, so I talked to New Mexican Sarah who is a painting expert and got her input. We chose Benjamin Moore Tropicana Cabana- it's a bright but not too dark turquoise. So far just the top cabinets are done. They look great. Eduardo did a nice painting job and the color makes the kitchen brighter and more "fun." I think Eduardo also likes that we are adding some color to our house from the tropical palette. Dominicans don't really do earth tones.
Finally, yesterday we purchased a new dining set. The one we have is at least 30 years old. It's a quality table, but the style and stain do not match the rest of our stuff, and the captain's chair are overbearing and way too large for our space. This is what we bought.
We chose the counter height table because I read the higher tables tend to make small spaces look larger. The stain is beautiful in person, and the table closes down to quite narrow and opens up to a large square that seats 8-10.
Next step: replace crumbling front retaining wall. That's an expensive project but really needs to be done this summer. Suggestions for ways to do it on the cheap?
Friday, March 13, 2009
Anxious
My reaction to any sort of medical worry is something more than *white coat syndrome.* It's not fear of procedures or even of pain, it's fear of the unknown. It's not entirely irrational- bad things happen all the time. I've had my share of alarming health situations, personally and involving my family. I wasn't a sickly kid, but had ear tubes twice, my tonsils removed, and my appendix removed- all before age 11. Maybe that set me up for being unable to be rational medical issues. Then, a couple years ago, my Grandpa, with whom I was very close, died quickly and unexpectedly at the same time that my Dad was having an acute health situation. My pregnancy, while joyful and yielding such a wonderful end-product, had it's share of stressers. And finally, Johan's scary ataxia last December was the worst day of my life.
I feel like my anxiety is worse now that I'm a parent. When you are completely responsible for another person's well-being; when a little person depends entirely on you, it gives you an appreciation of your own mortality. And I worry. And self-diagnose. And spend too much time googling health concerns. I am a smart person- able to address complex and difficult situations on a daily basis with a level head- except when it comes to a doctor calling with news of even the slightest abnormal test. When this happens, I crumble and become inconsolable. I become convinced of the worst and cannot imagine any other possibility. My psychologist friend calls that catastrophizing.
I do it. I catastrophize. And it's getting worse. My boss told me he keeps a supply of Xanax around for anxiety attacks - he also has a tendency to self-diagnose cancer and aneurysms (maybe that's why we get along so well?). This week, my doctor suggested getting a mild Rx for some psych medication. My mom pointed out that Xanax is for daily use and builds up in your system and doesn't just halt anxiety on an episodic basis. My wife suggested psych meds might make me crazy. My husband thinks that a combination of yoga and self-medicating with wine should be enough. My dad is in Puerto Rico but says we need to talk about this. I think I agree with all of them.
It's a funny thing- coming to a realization that my reactions to certain situations are not *normal.* Of course it's normal to worry about oneself and one's family's health, but uncontrollable crying and the unstoppable extrapolation that every slight abnormality means certain death is not normal and not healthy. This week at the doctor when I went for some follow up tests, the nurse noted my pulse was racing and my blood pressure was slightly elevated. No effing kidding. But then things are fine, and I go back to my functional, competent, highly-efficient self.
I guess I don't know if this needs intervention beyond yoga, wine, and an online journal. Committing to a medication seems extreme. I wish they made something just for what I need. Think of it as an SAT analogy:
Headache: Advil as Medical-related Anxiety: ____________.
What's the answer? Anyone? Anyone?
I feel like my anxiety is worse now that I'm a parent. When you are completely responsible for another person's well-being; when a little person depends entirely on you, it gives you an appreciation of your own mortality. And I worry. And self-diagnose. And spend too much time googling health concerns. I am a smart person- able to address complex and difficult situations on a daily basis with a level head- except when it comes to a doctor calling with news of even the slightest abnormal test. When this happens, I crumble and become inconsolable. I become convinced of the worst and cannot imagine any other possibility. My psychologist friend calls that catastrophizing.
I do it. I catastrophize. And it's getting worse. My boss told me he keeps a supply of Xanax around for anxiety attacks - he also has a tendency to self-diagnose cancer and aneurysms (maybe that's why we get along so well?). This week, my doctor suggested getting a mild Rx for some psych medication. My mom pointed out that Xanax is for daily use and builds up in your system and doesn't just halt anxiety on an episodic basis. My wife suggested psych meds might make me crazy. My husband thinks that a combination of yoga and self-medicating with wine should be enough. My dad is in Puerto Rico but says we need to talk about this. I think I agree with all of them.
It's a funny thing- coming to a realization that my reactions to certain situations are not *normal.* Of course it's normal to worry about oneself and one's family's health, but uncontrollable crying and the unstoppable extrapolation that every slight abnormality means certain death is not normal and not healthy. This week at the doctor when I went for some follow up tests, the nurse noted my pulse was racing and my blood pressure was slightly elevated. No effing kidding. But then things are fine, and I go back to my functional, competent, highly-efficient self.
I guess I don't know if this needs intervention beyond yoga, wine, and an online journal. Committing to a medication seems extreme. I wish they made something just for what I need. Think of it as an SAT analogy:
Headache: Advil as Medical-related Anxiety: ____________.
What's the answer? Anyone? Anyone?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Funny Yoginis
At yoga class this morning:
Woman 1: Let's do lots of twists today. My stomach hurts so bad.
Woman 2: Oh, did you eat dairy again?
Woman 1: No, my daughter kicked me in the stomach when I wouldn't let her reach up my shirt.
I am going to be the yoga practitioner that doesn't hate on dairy all the time. It's going to be a revolution.
Woman 1: Let's do lots of twists today. My stomach hurts so bad.
Woman 2: Oh, did you eat dairy again?
Woman 1: No, my daughter kicked me in the stomach when I wouldn't let her reach up my shirt.
I am going to be the yoga practitioner that doesn't hate on dairy all the time. It's going to be a revolution.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Product Commentaries
These are kind of lame things to write about after a pretty extended absence, but this is all you get.
1) Nature's Pride Bread. Same price as regular bread (about $2.50.) No high fructose corn syrup. Geesh, finally. Check out your bread. Unless it's from the co-op or the natural foods section and you spent $5-6 dollars, it likely has high fructose corn syrup as an ingredient. It's about time there is a reasonably priced bread without HFCS. I endorse.
2) For his birthday, Johan received a V-tech nursery rhymes book. The pages turn like a book, but it's made of plastic (probably full of BPA or something) and when Johan pushes buttons the books sings the nursery rhymes. Featured are Little Bo Peep, Mary Had a Little Lamb, and Ring Around the Rosy. Today I listened to the words and it says:
Ring Around the Rosy
The doggy chases the kitty
Husha, husha
We all fall down.
Well, that's not how it goes. Where is the pocket full of posy? The ashes from the burning bodies to stop the spread of the Black Death? How did a dog and cat chase get involved in it? I guess the Plague isn't a toddler-friendly subject? I wonder if there was a prior model of the V-tech book that had the REAL words and some parents were offended? I certainly plan to teach Johan the real words and use it as an opportunity to discuss European history. And what the hell is Husha? Despite that Johan really likes this toy, I do not endorse for its lack of historical and/or literary accuracy.
1) Nature's Pride Bread. Same price as regular bread (about $2.50.) No high fructose corn syrup. Geesh, finally. Check out your bread. Unless it's from the co-op or the natural foods section and you spent $5-6 dollars, it likely has high fructose corn syrup as an ingredient. It's about time there is a reasonably priced bread without HFCS. I endorse.
2) For his birthday, Johan received a V-tech nursery rhymes book. The pages turn like a book, but it's made of plastic (probably full of BPA or something) and when Johan pushes buttons the books sings the nursery rhymes. Featured are Little Bo Peep, Mary Had a Little Lamb, and Ring Around the Rosy. Today I listened to the words and it says:
Ring Around the Rosy
The doggy chases the kitty
Husha, husha
We all fall down.
Well, that's not how it goes. Where is the pocket full of posy? The ashes from the burning bodies to stop the spread of the Black Death? How did a dog and cat chase get involved in it? I guess the Plague isn't a toddler-friendly subject? I wonder if there was a prior model of the V-tech book that had the REAL words and some parents were offended? I certainly plan to teach Johan the real words and use it as an opportunity to discuss European history. And what the hell is Husha? Despite that Johan really likes this toy, I do not endorse for its lack of historical and/or literary accuracy.
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