Practicing (both Acceptance and Yoga)

A lot is going on right now. I pretty much hate blogs that don't divulge details of what the big stuff going on is. However, I'm pretty sure that everyone that reads this is also someone who I have already shared what I can over the phone or email.
If not, rest assured that my baby, my husband, my job, and my home are just fine.

Nevertheless, there is some darkness in my world right now. This darkness is giving me the chance to practice the principles of Al Anon. To accept what I cannot change. To find peace within myself and celebrate the beautiful things in life. To believe in hope and redemption, even in the face of tremendous heartache.

It's not easy. I am lucky to have a lot of people in my life that can help me to see the good.

I also have found extreme bliss and peace in yoga practice during this time. When I got back into yoga in early 2009, I found the spiritual aspects of it sort of hokey. I loved the work-out aspects of it but that was about it. Without my even realizing, my practice has now expanded into a source of emotional support for me. This Tuesday at yoga, I became so enveloped in my practice that all of the negativity and pain from the weekend melted away. I felt catharsis and sweat mixed with tears of release. When the class ended, my throat filled with a knot indicating tears were not far away. I did not want to leave my yoga mat.

Even though we made a financial decision to limit my yoga classes to once a week, I may need to override the Alcantara Lund financial policy in order to maintain my mental health for awhile. All in favor? I.

Yogurt

We are pretty big fans of yogurt at my house. We usually choose Trader Joe's or Light & Fit. However, I prefer savory to sweet and it's no secret that yogurt comes in all manner of sweet flavors. Or no flavor, which only tastes good with lots of honey and granola.

What about savory yogurt? Like the Greek stuff with cucumbers. Flavors I have thought of are: sun-dried tomato; cucumber; leek and roasted red peppers; black pepper and sea salt...hmmm...perhaps these are all just potato-chip flavors. Probably this has been thought of and discarded as gross, but I've never seen it in stores. The closest I've seen are some flavored cottage cheeses (pickle flavored) and yes, it was gross. In my brand of savory yogurts, the cucumber would have to be fresh.

Are there savory yogurts? Should I try to make some? Maybe I'll just eat cottage cheese- unflavored, of course.

Berries

Today marked by day for a "free" upgrade of my cell phone. I've been going on 2 months with tape holding the battery of my cell phone into it, and the phone was so far gone that it would drop calls even while I was near a window in my own house. It was time to get a device that can sync with my database at work and my Outlook and so... yes, I now have a Blackberry. Of course, I have really no idea how to use it, but slowly and surely the tech savvies who surround me are guiding me toward a higher level of functioning. And, I am already used to the full keyboard for my wine-infused texting.

Don't worry- just because I have a Blackberry doesn't mean I'm a grown up for real. Tonight at the liquor store, as I was trying to take a bottle (2) of vinho verde from the shelf, I managed to knock a bottle of red wine off the shelf. It broke and covered my suit and some other woman's white pants in its redness.

And, also, don't worry, again- The Blackberry has insurance for the very reason that it is owned by me and I tend to spill wine on things.

Sunday Nightz & Babies

*Warning: This post is mostly about vomit.

Unlike his parents, Johan seems to have a weak stomach. He gets carsick, a sensitive gag reflex, and has had some wickedly disgusting vomity moments in his little life.

Anyway, today about 6pm, Johan suddenly got very quiet and wanted to sit with me and snuggle. This was not bedtime, my suspicions were raised. Sure enough, within about 15 minutes, he had hurled all over me. We spent some time in the bathroom getting cleaned up and near the toilet in case he was going to be sick again. But, just a few minutes later, his energy and color were back, and he was off to play, jump, and kick a beach ball around the house. He's sleeping now, and seems to be fine.

As he was getting sick all over my new-ish green sweater, I realized that when Johan gets stomach sick, it always seems to be on Sundays (other than that time last winter when he had 3-week-long stomach ailment...that was awesome. Right, Sarah?).

What is it about Sundays? Does he know it's the beginning of a new week? Is it his variation of Sunday night anxiety and insomnia?

Is he really just that sick of me after spending 2 days in a row together?

Whatever the case, it's strange that it always happens on Sundays. That's laundry anyway day so it's actually pretty well timed. Thanks, Johan.

Trippin'

We did just get back from a trip to California (unbelievably, Eduardo's first), having spent time in Los Angeles (of course) and La Jolla. The longer I am away from living in LA, the more I miss it and romanticize it.

I miss the phenomenal tacos. There is nothing even remotely close to California taco truck style tacos here. We don't even have a lame substitute like Del Taco. In fact, so much do I miss the tacos that on the way to airport at 9am on Sunday, I made us stop at Del Taco for a few tacos al carbon.

I miss having half a dozen choices for Thai food within a mile of where I live- and having the food be cheap and good. I miss brown rice being available from Asian restaurants.

I miss more than the food, of course. I miss the smell of the trees. Sitting on Roisin's patio on Saturday, the smell of Southern California wafted into my nostrils. And I felt nostalgiac.

Most of all, I miss being surrounded by my friends. It seems paradoxical, but even though I am surrounded by family in Minneapolis and live with a good man and a lovey-dove baby, I feel lonely here sometimes. On the airplane on Sunday, my ribs and diaphragm hurt and I realized it was from laughing so hard with so many of my good true friends on Saturday night. I didn't want that rib pain to go away because it reminded me of how happy I am when I am with them.

Moving to LA is not on the horizon for us. I flirt with the idea occasionally, but it would mean giving up too much. I love being near my family and having Johan grow up knowing his grandparents well. I love having a job where I feel proud of and appreciated for my work. I love always knowing where I am going (within city limits-don't ask me about suburbs). I love seasons.

So, we will continue to travel back to California and I hope to always come home with rib pain.

P.S. Johan pronounces all words ending in -ing all urban style (swimmin', rainin', trippin'.)