Dear Johan:
Last night you jumped into the pool at swimming lessons for the last time as a 3-year-old. You couldn't wait to get in the water and you jumped with vigor and passion, with your legs tucked and your arms flung wide. I love the way you tackle life that way- with arms flung wide. May you never stop jumping into the pool with all your energy.
This morning you awoke and announced you were still three. No way, Jose. Today you are four years old. I am not the kind of mom who wishes you would stay a baby forever. I have enjoyed every stage of your growth and I love to see the ways you continue to expand your mind. I mean, just in the past couple of weeks, you learned about the concept of zero. You are recognizing all the numbers and you pointed out to me how much a 4 looks like a capital A. You are so smart, Johan. Your future is so bright and it makes me excited to think about all the ways you will learn and grow while you are 4 years old.
I think a lot of people might say that they only want their children to be happy. That's not what I want most for you, Johan. What I want most for you is to have a deep sense of meaning to your life- that you always feel compelled to help others and to feel gratitude to a degree that you understand that you must give back to the world. I want you to appreciate your role as a member of humanity and that we are all in this thing together. I want you to feel a sense of responsibility to make the world a better place and I look forward to seeing how you will choose to do that.
So, it's not that I don't want you to be happy; it's that true happiness isn't in having an easy and "perfect" childhood or life. It's not in presents or having things given to you. It's in finding meaning in your relationships, in overcoming hardships, and in doing good for others.
Our life is not perfect. There are things about it that aren't how I imagined or originally planned. Some parts about your life might be harder than they are for others. There will always be tough parts about life. But that is what gives us character. And rising above difficulty is what helps us appreciate all the goodness in our lives. Think about the people we love and who love us. It gives me goosebumps just to try and count the people who love you.
Lots of things happen when you are four years old. More swimming, baseball, jumping on trampolines. Letters and numbers and writing. Tying shoes. Brushing teeth and combing hair. Making friends and strengthening friendships. Laughter and tears and naps and movies and games and costumes and make-believe and bike rides and dog walking and snow angels and plane rides and coloring and restaurants and reading books and snuggling. I can't wait to do all those things with you while you are 4 years old, Johan.
I love you more than words can say and I am so proud of you.
