It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged about pop culture. I have a lot to say about the Kardashians (all good- they entertain me while I exercise!), but today is about Rihanna. On the Grammys a few weeks ago, she sand a ballad called “Stay.” Her voice was sorrowful and beautiful and emotive. But the lyrics go like this:
“All along it was a fever
A cold sweat hot-headed believer
I threw my hands in the air and said, "Show me something,"
He said, "If you dare come a little closer."
Round and around and around and around we go
Oh now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know
Not really sure how to feel about it.
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you.
It takes me all the way.
I want you to stay
Oh the reason I hold on
Oh cause I need this hole gone
Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving
Cause when you never see the lights it's hard to know which one of us is caving
Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay, stay
I want you to stay, oh”
It just made me so sad to hear her sing that. Don’t you think she must be singing to Chris Brown? Everyone at the Grammys applauded and they moved on to something else. But all I could think about is how she’s singing the ballad of abused women. She wants him to stay because she can’t live without him…even though he beats her up. I wondered if she had insight into the song or if she was just singing something her producers gave her, so I searched the song on Wikipedia. She did co-write the song, so it seems she must understand the gravity of the lyrics.
There is a pretty long Wikipedia article about the song but it’s not mentioned even once how autobiographical the song is regarding her abusive relationship with Chris Brown. Or how it is the classic problem with ending an abusive relationship. It just goes around and around and around and you can’t tell who it is that’s broken (the answer is usually both.)
We all know somebody that’s in a relationship they shouldn’t be- whether the abuse is physical or verbal and emotional, the seemingly inescapable black hole is the same. I’ve been in that black hole myself. Eduardo was no Chris Brown, but his depression brought out some not-very-nice qualities in him. And now looking back from the other side of the black hole, I just want to scoop Rihanna up and tell her she can live without him, he shouldn’t stay, that she shouldn't cave, and that she can live without him. I wish somebody at the Grammys would have said that.
It makes me sad.
