Over.

The B.E. is over. It's out of my hands-- are you really surprised that I'm even more nervous now, in some ways? I don't like things being out of my hands. Cest la vie. Nothing to do about it.

Eduardo and I are leaving for a few days of relaxation up at Mille Lacs. I have been to a lot of countries and 4 continents, but somehow, I have never been more excited for a trip than for this one coming up in a couple hours.

Here's something that yanks my chain...

Cars and trucks that switch lanes in a tunnel! Can't they see the solid white lines? Or, more importantly, the lack of a shoulder on the road or anywhere for the little car those lane-switchers might run off the road when the switch lanes? Except it wouldn't be off the road- it would be into a wall in a tunnel. That is danger. Every time I see someone switch lanes in a tunnel (which is quite often now that I drive on 394 almost daily), I want to roll down my window and shout: "Don't you know about Princess Diana!"

BUT, here is something that makes my chain happy: Bar exam is officially HALF over. And those essays weren't half-bad either. The MPT, which I hate the most, was tolerable and 4/6 other essays were on these topics: Criminal Law, Constitutional Law, Torts, and Evidence. If you are reading this blog, you probably know me well enough so that I don't really need to explain how fucking awesome that is, considering what some of the other possible topics COULD have been.

One more day of law and then it's lake lake lake. There are no tunnels on the way up to the lake.

The verdict it in

And good Sarah was right. She says it's because the wife is always right. Looks like the rest of you suckers owe ME a drink.

Other good news is that the baby has all his organs and they all seem to be functioning properly. The technician described his kidneys as "vague" which is a bizarre adjective in my opinion, but I'm assured this just means harder to visualize. Don't worry- he has kidneys. And a liver, which, being from this family, he certainly will need.

This was a nice morning, a welcome break from studying but now it's back to the books. I will start thinking about names and how one goes about raising up a kind, gentle, sensitive, loving, peaceful man next week.

From the Frontlines

1) I am still alive.

2) Kind of.

3) The B.E. is T-5 days away.

4) I have worn the same tank top and leisure pants every day for the past week. This is unlikely to change any time soon.

5) I don't answer my phone or return calls. I will in T-6 days.

6) A silver lining: at least the B.E. is organized by my least favorite to my "most favorite." First the multistate performance test which is boring, lame, and not actually a reflection of what actual law practice is as it purports to be. Second are the essays which are ok, as long as they test the subjects with which I am more comfortable. Last is the multistate exam, 200 multiple choice questions. Not like I love doing them, but there is a certain satisfaction in eliminating wrong answers and filling in bubbles. I always eat my food from least favorite to most because then I've saved the best for last. I guess the law examiners know my style.

7) We find out tomorrow if Pavo is a girl turkey or boy turkey.

What's funny

Is when a person, in absolute seriousness, and in the year 2007, says to a new mom that "A great way to save time is to buy pre-sliced bread."

Yeah, and running water is also a great way to save time, moron. Who the hell doesn't buy pre-sliced bread?

New Day

Well, it went out with a wimper. My own wimpers, actually. Can't really explain why, but yesterday was my mini-breakdown day. Hopefully the only one. But today I woke up feeling calmer, ready to spend the next 12 days buckled down and memorizing law. And it's ok. Know why? Because it's only 12 days. 12 days. At this time in 2 weeks, I will be locking up the doors in Minneapolis and heading north on 169 to my beautiful lake. And I will have taken and passed the bar exam.

I was in a solitary mood yesterday so not much on answering my phone, but thank you to everyone that called. That made me happy. 1st Prize for birthday messages goes to Ramire. I saved the message. If you heard it you would know why.

12 days.

B.D., no B.E.

Today is my birthday. Usually one of my favorite days of the year surrounded by favorite people and enjoying favorite restaurants and bars.

Not this year. Besides the fact that most of my family is out of town and my husband works tonight, I'm not convinced I could actually enjoy any outings anyway. This is because the bar exam is now only 13 days away, and I am on edge. I feel like Tweak from South Park. (See little kid on the right).

If you're unfamiliar, Tweak is the little kid that's always hopped up on coffee and has inappropriately strong reactions to normal stimuli, primarily manifested by emitting short, alarmed shrieks. That is me now. The fact of the matter is, no matter how much I study, there is not enough time to learn all of what I "should" know. I am actually not that afraid of failing. I don't think I will. And I am not stressed out so much that I am unable to sleep or eat (God forbid). But I do have this sort of tweaked out edge about me. Talking a bit too fast and too loud. Jerky movements. Eyes wide and brow furrowed. A general sort of unpleasantness that I don't think will lift until I am safe at Lake Mille Lacs on July 26.

So, it's ok that this birthday is likely going to be less celebratory than most. I think I will do some practice questions, maybe write a practice essay, and then watch a little South Park. At this point, only Tweak really understands.

Pardon Me?

I've been thinking about this controversy over Bush commuting Scooter Libby's sentence. The Democrat in me (which is all of me), of course, is annoyed and finds this to be just another reason to hate the Current Occupant and Administration. But I think it's more complicated than that, and I have to disagree with Bill Clinton (blasphemy, I know, please don't tell him I said anything remotely contrary to him) that this situation is different from the pardons he issued just one the "facts."

Here's my thinking: if my party was in control of the White House (which it hopefully will be come January 2009) and in the "hot seat" (which it hopefully won't be), I know myself. I know that I would stand by a President/Administration I loved. I feel like I would think up a great justification for why my President was right to commute a sentence or pardon someone. I am loyal to the DFL (Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party, Minnesota's superior version of the DNC) in the same ways that true conservatives are loyal to Bush. So, while I disagree with Bush's decision to commute the sentence, I don't feel like I can be that outraged by it because scandals happen and who knows what the next administrations dirty laundry will be. It would be anticipatorily hypocritical to be excessively critical of this situation, being quite sure that if it were a DFLer in the same position, I would not feel the same.

This, of course, presents two problems. First, it maybe means I am way too jaded in that it sounds like I have accepted as an inevitable reality that politics and the White House equal scandal. Second, it may mean that my devotion to the party colors my ethics. I hope not. I don't want to be jaded or have questionable ethics. But, the President's powers includes the power to pardon whomever he wants (thank you BarBri Con Law review), and that goes for Dems and Republicans alike, whether I like it or not. I mean, President Bartlett pardoned Toby, which was absolutely a political move and also involved issues of national security/top secret White House affairs. And I found that to be a tear-jerker, beautiful moment of West Wing (but weren't they all?) So, how is that so very different than Scooter's situation, other than the fact that West Wing is only for pretend (would that it were not).

My dad also pointed out that perjury is trickier than it seems at first glance. If enough time passes and enough questions are asked, isn't just about anyone capable of perjury? You think you remember something just how it happened but you don't. No one knows more than the Criminal Defense Attorney Bar how fallible the human memory is and how it can so often lead to incorrect statements and conclusions.

Finally, are the Scooter's crimes felonies? I think so, since he was getting more than a year in the slammer. And he's still convicted- so that means he can't vote, right? As a matter of principle, I think that permanent felon disenfranchisement is unconstitutional but as long as that law sticks around, I don't mind one less Republican vote in 2008. But by that time, Bush may have taken the next step and pardoned Scooter. Or disenfranchised several thousand more black men in Florida. What an American Hero.