On Being a Worrier

I don't generally think of myself as a worrier. I am able to leave work at work, and even when I am upset, my sleep is rarely disturbed. But somehow when the unknown, maybe scary thing has anything to do with anything medical, I become the world's biggest worrier. When my dad was having mysterious health issues a couple of years ago, I am almost embarrassed to say that I became functionally crippled-- I was so wrought with worry and fear that I couldn't do homework, my job, or pay attention to anything besides imagining the worst.

My dad, of course, is so wise about these things, and pointed out that worrying about the unknown is a huge waste of energy since "it" might turn out to be nothing; might as well save the worry for if and when you know there is a problem to worry about. While my worry about my dad turned out to be *almost* nothing, as do most worries about medical issues, any follow-ups or further testing doctors want to do make me a much less rational person than I normally consider myself to be.

At my doctor appointment yesterday, a couple of tests (regarding my health, not the baby's) came back slightly abnormal. As in, "just something to watch, nothing to worry about now." Um, sure, right. I am back to my worrying ways, and let me tell you that Web MD does nothing to help. Eduardo has kindly reassured me that everything will be fine, and pointed out all the women in this world that have babies every year who get little or no pre-natal care and come out alright. So, being a middle-class white woman living in one of the wealthier of these United States with some of the best doctors and pre-natal care in the world means that my chances of being* fine,* even if complications do arise, are better than the chances of most people in the world. This is a weird conundrum though- the better and more thorough the pre-natal care, the more likely a problem or potential problem is to "arise" since any, even slight abnormality will come to the doctor's attention. And make me worry.

One of my current and newly imposed "restrictions" is no more treadmilling until after Pavo is born. Not too many times in one's life where the M.D. recommends avoiding exercise. I'll try not to worry.