This has been a stressful 24 hours for me. I'm staying at my dad's this weekend because they are out of town, and my brother is at home. Last night my brother and I got in a "fight" (which means I called him out on his characteristically disrespectful behavior and bad judgment and he then proceeded to call me "egotistical," "holier than thou," and "not my sister" in a series of attacking text messages.)
So I've been in kind of a crappy mood all day today, and was surprised that his angry and thoughtless words got to me so much, particularly since my whole career is based on conflict, and it seems like something I ought to be able to just let roll off my shoulder.
Just moments ago, I was able to put my finger on this feeling, this restlessness and worry combined with nausea- it's the same feeling I used to get when I was a kid and there would be intense anger and lashing out that tends to happen in a divorced/blended family home. I hated that aspect of my growing up, and it is something I have not really experienced in many many years.
The reminder of the ways that sort of discord and anger affect me makes me very grateful that my home life now involves mainly disagreements about MSNBC vs. ESPN and only on the very rarest of occasions ever escalates to true anger.
The pit in my stomach has started to shrink--my dad will be home tomorrow, and Sarah and Charlie arrive in Minneapolis in a matter of hours. And Johan is snuggling up to me right now, so the peace of my life emerges once again.
1 comment:
I'm sorry you and David got into it. That really stinks and does make one feel bad. I know just what you mean - that barfy feeling in the pit of your stomach. I hope things are better between you now.
It was great to hear from you during convention. You helped out our collective brain farts with the names we couldn't think of. We missed you and hope you can be there next time.
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