World Comes Crashing Down (for a minute)

I intended to add just one last post before we leave for the Dominican Republic on December 15. It was going to be about how Eduardo and I have different packing styles and how, if I try to pack earlier than the day before we go, I will forget what I've packed and second guess myself and have to re-pack anyway.

Then, on Monday morning, Johan woke up unable to walk. He could still crawl, and pull up to standing, but his legs would not walk. It wasn't like he was reverting or just refusing to walk. He would try and his legs would buckle under him and he would get frustrated.

My mom was taking care of Johan on Monday (I didn't realize what was going on since we got up so early and he wasn't on the floor to walk before we left) and so she brought him to the pediatrician. They recommended that we go to Children's Hospital for a spinal tap. Holy fuck. Actually, we had the option of "wait and see" but if something was wrong, I wanted to know and start addressing it as soon as possible.

We got to the Emergency Room and Johan seemed to feel fine; but he was unable to walk.

Blood tests came back normal.
The ER doctor recommended the spinal tap and an MRI scan of the brain.
Soooo... choices are meningitis or brain tumor?

I don't think I can articulate the intensity of my worry and devastation. For the first time in my life, I can honestly say that I would trade places with someone- not only to undergo the tests, but I would rather cut off my own leg than have him have cancer. Or something. The point is, sheer terror and fear had set in.

To undergo these tests, Johan would have to have an IV. It took 2 incompetent nurses, and finally a decent one, to get into a vein. That was probably the most disturbing part of the day for Johan. Then Johan was admitted to the hospital and a young resident came to talk to us.

He discussed with us the process of elimination- we do all these tests to eliminate possibilities. When he asked about family history, my mom shared that my grandma has osteoporosis and my grandpa died of Alzheimer's. The doctor assured us it was not those. Right. Now about the brain tumor...

At about 2pm, we got up to Johan's room, where we sat around and played with some toys from the hospital toy room. At 4pm, we went to radiology. They sedated Johan (very creepy to watch) and then sent his little limp body into the MRI machine. From there, they kept him sedated and did the spinal tap.

We went back upstairs with a still unconscious Johan at about 6pm. Johan woke up happy at 6:30 or so, and promptly went back to sleep. There was a snowstorm outside the window and I felt about as helpless as the street trying to stay dry. I kept bugging the nurse to check the computer for test results.

Finally, about 7:3o the radiology report was available. She said she'd call the doctor up. I said "listen, I read MRI reports every day. Just let me see." ...

Conclusion: Normal MRI study of the brain.

And then I breathed again.

No osteoporosis. No Alzheimer's. No brain cancer.

A bit later, the spinal tap results came in normal as well.

No meningitis.

Thank God. Or la Virgen, if you're Eduardo.

So, WTF is going on? Acute ataxia (instability)- either a reaction to a vaccine or an already-resolved virus. The question remained: what about Johan walking again? All the doctors said most kids get over it in a week or so. Most. Uh, great. And Johan had an IV in his foot, so we couldn't even let him try to walk.

After a horrible and restless night of sleep (thanks to a newborn baby roommate with jaundice), Johan's IV was removed about 8am Tuesday.

Still not walking.

A neurologist evaluated him and said he thought Johan would get better in a week or so, and that we could keep our travel plans.

Johan, Eduardo, and I kept waiting. And waiting. Just to get the discharge papers. Finally, I brought Johan to the play room. There were a couple of bouncy balls in the room. Johan loves to bounce balls. Because I am so very mean, I put them on the opposite side of the room and told Johan to come get them. He pulled himself up, and after a couple of failed attempts, took a step. Then another. Then he fell. Then he tried again and took maybe 10 steps. He slowly started walking again.

We were discharged about 10:30. Johan fell asleep the second we got in the car, and slept until almost 3pm at home. Nothing like one's own bed. By last night, he was walking all over. His balance is worse than before, and his gait is slightly off, but it appears to be continually improving.

A long and scary story, with a happy and boring ending.

Johan is a happy little boy this morning, in his own house with his papa, eating cereal and yogurt. Playing his drum. And able to walk.

Thank God. Thank modern medicine that can tell us within hours that our boy is ok. Thank you to everyone who took my calls and text messages on Monday, and sent us well wishes and love. And, of course, thanks to la Virgen.

PS. The doctors would want me to tell you that, even if the MMR vaccine caused this temporary paralysis, you should still get your kids vaccinated.