Hodgepodge

I am trying to keep busy. The house is clean (as clean as it's going to get) and the dishes are done. Johan and I are showered and ready to welcome home the completing member of our little family. Unfortunately, his flight doesn't land for another 2 and a half hours. Just thinking of being awake that long makes me incredibly tired. So, I am trying to NOT think of that. Instead, I shall type.

Johan has rejoined the ranks of his teeny-tiny peers in nursery school. He is attending 2 days a week until April, when he will increase to 3 days. It's a great place with a long history, good staff retention, happy kids etc. Johan is not used to being anything less than the center of his caregivers' universes, so this is a transition. The teachers at school are kind and affectionate and good, but they are not mom/dad/grandma/grandpa. I have noticed that Johan is more snuggly with me since he has started school- now he can appreciate how great it is to just sit around and hug each other since at school he doesn't get snuggled all day long. I was excited today about a breakthrough Johan had at school- apparently he formed an attachment to the director of the center and wanted all of her love and attention. This wasn't possible, since there are lots of other kids and the director has other duties as well, but it made me happy that he has formed a bond to someone there. He is feeling safe, and is beginning to trust them. I trust them and feel comfortable knowing Johan is with them.

On to another subject...

Today I handed a client a list of documents I need to proceed with his case. He was half-drunk at 8:30am and asked me to make little boxes next to each of the items he needed to bring, so he could check them off as he found them. I obliged. Little boxes in red pen. He will get a smiley face sticker if he actually follows through and brings the documents.

Moving on...

I have been doing pretty well trying a new food each week, but today I became aware that others notice my tendency to repeat food choices. In some playful teasing among my co-workers, one guessed what foods I brought for lunch (she was right) and another noted that I have eaten the same thing every day since I started working at the firm in 2005. While this isn't true, it is true that I normally eat the same thing every day for lunch: a lean pocket; mixed green salad with a dollop of hummus and an ounce of cheese; and a piece of fruit --usually a banana or apple, but more variety in the summer. Since I tend to not be a terribly observant person (I never notice if people wear the same clothes 2 days in a row, for example), it surprises me that my co-workers notice the redundancy of my lunches. Maybe I'll have to switch it up a bit, just to keep the office gossip tree freshly watered.

And then there's this...

My brother has had a rough few months, and his and my relationship has been particularly strained. We haven't really spoken since the first week of December. He seems to be opening up to accepting help for his issues, which makes me happy. I don't know when he and I will be able to talk again, I feel good that my dad and Evelyn will be able to just be together in their home, at their lake place, on their vacations, without the looming drama/dread of facing another crisis with my brother. I hope the place he goes will provide the breakthrough we've been waiting for for so long. Time will tell. I have nothing to say to my brother right now. I decided that I needed to clear my life of his toxicity. At the same time, I will never give up on him. I will never write him off. I sincerely hope that someday we can be real friends and be in each other's lives in a positive, mutually supportive way.

Whew. Ok. Random ramblings. Shit. It's still 2 hours before I need to go the airport.