I have sworn over and over again to not comment, but on a recent post about discipline, I was so disgusted by one of the comments that I couldn't help myself.
Below is what ensued:
Original Comment:
I do believe in spanking…but only in the right way. Before you choose to do this too, I would suggest you seek out what the Bible has to say the process. One scripture reference is this: "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him (Proverbs 22:15)." The process we use is this:
a. Only spank when not angry, make sure you have had time to cool down, but don’t wait too long. Like Jennifer mentioned, you need to complete the discipline as soon as possible.
b. Get down on their level.
c. Explain to them why they are getting a spanking.
d. Tell them how many swats they have “earned”.
e. Ask them if they understand why they are about to receive their spanking.
f. Ask them to willingly bend over your knee.
g. DO NOT USE YOUR HANDS….we use a rubber spatula. If you think about the power you have in your arm and the pounds of pressure behind your arm, you can apply quite a bit of force and even throw a spine out of wack. The spatula, however, is the flick of a wrist. The spoon or spatula applies a sting, but isn’t going to harm your child if it is done correct and within reason.
h. Ask them to repeat to you again what they did wrong and ask if they understand.
i. Hug your child and tell them meaningfully that you love them, and that you know they can make better choices.
My reply comment:
Kristina 1 day ago
I absolutely disagree. Hitting your child with a spatula or anything else absolutely is never the answer. It only teaches children that using fists, hands, spatulas or whatever else is how you get people to do what you want. I can't reiterate enough what a bad idea I think this is. It actually gives me disturbed chills to read that you do this to your kids.
Crazy #1 reply comment:
We are living in an "Oprah" society that says that spanking is "hitting" (and homosexuality is wonderful, and we are our own God). But the Truth that has stood the test of time is this: Spanking is Biblical. The Bible speaks of spanking over and over again. While some people fall for the new-age belief that the "rod of discipline" was only meant as a metaphor in the Bible, the people who have truly studied the Word of our Sovereign God will discover that it is an actual rod, and that God tells us "Thou shalt beat him with the rod" for "he will surely not die", but rather "save his soul from hell".
Having said that, I have to emphasize that I agree with Janelle's point that it is most important that our discipline (no matter what form in which we do it) should be done in love.
My next reply comment:
Also, saying that a spatula if "done right" doesn't harm a child completely disregards that a child is more than a physical being. Even if the physical harm is minimal and not permanent, the lessons you are teaching will last long and the shame you are purposely instilling can have far-reaching effects. I don't think Jesus thinks you should smack your kids with spatulas.
Crazy #2 reply comment:
Kristina,
I don't think what Janelle is describing here is a meaningless "smack" with a spatula. Clearly, she and her husband have thought and prayed over how God would have them discipline their children and have chosen to spank. Spanking is actually biblical--"Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die." Proverbs 23:13. I believe that spanking is wrong when done out of anger, but when done out of love and correction, as Janelle describes, it is appropriate.
Original Crazy commenter's reply:
Thank you Rebecca for understanding. I really lost sleep over this last night. Obviously I knew I was putting myself out there by boldly explaining our method of discipline, but I hadn't prepared myself for the negative feedback that may come. I wasn't always a believer of spanking, I actually started out parenting saying.."I'll never do that!". It really took a while for me to believe in it, and then only by the researching in books, the Bible, through counseling through our church, prayer together with my husband...did I come to understand it's Biblical backing. It still isn't always the easiest thing for me to do, because my temperament is the peacemaker...don't really enjoy confrontation. It is definitely never done out of anger, but only because I love my children. (on side note, we of course do not spank our 10 mo). It is also something we rarely have to do.
Kristina-I do appreciate you expressing your concern, it is a controversial subject among many people. The things you said, are thoughts that I at one time had myself...and is something I really had to seek truth out on before deciding to do.
--------------
So much more to write. So much more to say. But, as these people apparently think that it's ok to beat their kids with rods as long as they don't die, it seems their mental problems run far deeper than what I am equipped to handle. This is only one of many reasons that organized religion and its followers disturb me.
4 comments:
One thing I think my parents did really right was their approach to spanking... in that I got spanked twice in my life, once at 18 months heading for the electrical socket with a fork and once in preschool after running into traffic. I don't think spanking is ever necessary, but I also think in extreme circumstances when you're talking about the kid's safety and it may be the only way to communicate quickly and jarringly the seriousness of NOT doing whatever they are doing, it can be ok. Hitting your kid with a spatula for being disobedient or talking back seems... sadistic. And like you said, a really bad lesson on problem-solving. Then again, we have to remember that neither of us have direct lines to God. I am going to pray to God about what to eat for lunch. Apparently he is some kind of micromanager.
Oh wait. You don't have a direct line? I can't believe he makes you speak to his secretary first.
Also, there was another comment I didn't add because I couldn't find it in the hundreds of comments the original post had that talked about praying while and after spanking with spatulas and spoons. Which is really creepy to me.
I'll text you later with the direct line.
This is so so creepy to me. Also, in Minnesota, the statute defines child abuse as, among other things, using any kind of implement. A smack with your hand is legally acceptable as spanking, but when you pick something up to spank your child with, it's abuse. So, the crazies are abusing their kids by Minnesota standards.
Those women are PSYCHO. Also, Johan is cute.
Eric likes to tell the story about how his parents stopped spanking him and his brother as children after one afternoon when his mom was in the middle of spanking his brother and yelling, "We. Don't. Hit. People!" She realized the irony and they never spanked either boy ever again.
Post a Comment