Choosing the Uncomfortable

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." --Martin Luther King, Jr.

I have repeated this meditation to myself again and again over the past several hours. There is a certain amount of vindication I have felt at OBL's death. But that is not an emotion I am proud of. On the contrary, I do not want to celebrate death. In fact, in the days after 9-11, I think I was the ugliest I have ever been in my life. I tapped into hate that I didn't know I could find within me, and I don't ever want to find that again. I have no desire to return to a place of hate, and seeing the images of 9-11 repeated on the news reminds me of how I felt and how I was in those dark and scary days.

I am not there now. I believe in love. But I must remind myself of that. I feel disturbed by the chants of U-S-A and #1 and the sports-like atmosphere. This is not a national championship or a Super Bowl victory. It's war. It's human life and human death. How can I profess to denounce state-sanctioned killing and teach my child to vehemently oppose the death penalty if I do not also refuse to celebrate OBL's death.

It's not natural to take that position, maybe, particularly with regard to such a vile enemy. I can certainly see how, in pain, people may find themselves feeling empowered in vengeance. But I have to resist that path. Similarly, it's perhaps not natural to work my body into a twisted triangle or frog pose during yoga practice. It can be uncomfortable and difficult. It can push me outside of my comfort zone. It can make me have to use all my strength and willpower to hold the position. But I choose that road. And like Robert Frost says, that has made all the difference.

As for my family and me, we choose love. And we will not rejoice in the death of another, even an enemy.