I am listening to Johan "self-soothe." This is code for letting him cry himself to sleep. It is very sad. He is 4.5 months and the pediatrician/evil monster says he needs to learn to fall asleep on his own, not in my arms. So we are trying. Now. She says to leave him cry for up to a half hour. She clearly has no soul. I say 5 minutes. Any longer than that, and he's not ready to sleep yet.
As I write this, the cries are tapering off. Listening, listening... It's now been quiet for 30 seconds. It sounds by the lack of sound that he is falling asleep.
I've been waiting. It's been a few minutes. The room is quiet. Success.
Johan's ability to self-soothe? check.
My ability to not pick him up the second he makes a peep? check.
We win.
5 comments:
we have the same problem with ellie. just in case he continues to have issues putting himself to sleep after this first success at self-soothing, here is one thing that has been working for us(knocking on wood...still knocking): I put her in bed, if she starts crying hard I pick her up and hold her until she gets so drowsy she is barely keeping her eyes open. then I put her back in bed before she is asleep. If she starts crying again, I repeat. Repeat until they fall asleep on their own in bed. This way, you don't let them fall asleep in your arms, but you also avoid having to hear them scream bloody murder. Ellie is making great strides and I have not held her to sleep in over a week. (knocking harder yet). Good luck, Lotem.
Um, I only erased that other comment because it had a typo. How weird that they record the fact that I wrote something and then erased it immediately.
I just wanted to say good job to both of you. Self-soothing is a tough skill to master at any age. I am trying to self-sooth myself as I prepare for my first of three exams tomorrow. But mostly I run to Nate and make him kiss or feed me every couple hours. So Johan has me beat at being independent and well-adjusted. Hopefully grad school won't break him one day like it has me.
nice job mom
i knew that johan and you could/would work this out.
i don't think the doc is soulless
but i certainly understand the sentiment. 5 minutes is a good compromise. when he is at our house we get him immediately if he fusses in a certain tone or volume. you know what i mean. he is communicating and i am getting to know what he means. the 'i don't want to miss out on the wonders of the world around me, don't make me sleep' vs. the 'no way am i sleepy now, i am hungry or i am on the verge of figuring out something new and i refuse to sleep now'.
you are a great mom to johan and eduardo is a great dad
congratulations
In the long run, it is the best thing to do. I know it is the hardest thing in the world to hear your baby cry, but they do need to learn to comfort themselves to some degree. I would never leave my child just crying for hours, but "self-soothing" can be a good thing for the long run. I use to have to hold Jay until he was almost asleep I would lie him down and rub his back until he was OUT! GOOD LUCK! Just think, you dont want him to sleep with you guys until he is 13!
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