Christmas Shopping in the Eastern Bloc

I am home from my Christmas Shopping Bonanza. Johan is at my mom's for the night since she is taking care of him tomorrow and they want to sleep in. Christmas shopping was much less nightmarish than it would have been had I also been responsible for Johan's enjoyment. Maybe it's because there are only 4 days until Christmas, but I had numerous WTF moments:

- There was no Scotch tape at Target. None. I have no idea how I am going to wrap these gifts. There might be some blue painters tape in the basement.

- I stood at the jewelry counter at Macys for a good 20 minutes and no one even tried to sell me anything. I could not find a single person willing to open the case. Finally, I tracked someone down and insisted on an extra 10% discount for my 20 minutes. It should have been an extra 20%. I may write a strongly worded letter to Macys and hope for some more discounts in the New Year.

- The guy at the JC Penney men's clothing counter did not know how to scan a credit card. He sheepishly asked me if I had cash and I said No. He had to call the manager over. I had a $10 coupon so I didn't bitch too much. I mean, poor kid, he works at JC Penney.

- My cousin's daughter likes Barbies so I thought I would get Doctor Barbie or Astronaut Barbie or Trial Attorney Barbie. The only ones at Target were in bikinis. Rows and rows of bikini Barbies. I finally found one in jeans and a shirt that says "Hussy" or "Bee-yotch" or something. How retro of Barbie to no longer have a career. Unless you count hussy as a career. I don't.

And finally...

- The only to/from labels left at Target were one sheet of Disney princess labels. Another woman was also looking for labels and these were the only package left. She didn't want them. They were stupidly expensive and the package is sort of bent and tattered. And I don't know anybody who likes Disney princesses. But I bought them anyway. Everyone damn well better love Disney princesses this year.


The shopping is done, though. I am most excited about wrapping the tiny little trinkets that will go in Johan's stocking: 2-inch Big Bird figurine; an Elmo bouncy ball; tiny-sized Doctor Seuss board books; a yellow shirt; a yellow matchbox car; a yellow tin of M&Ms; striped socks; and some other stuff I can't remember.

Now if only I had some Scotch tape.